Flowchart: Do You Like Me?

My dad constantly refers to DVDs as "shiny records", and occasionally calls me to find out why his movies won't play in the player. The usual reason? he's put them in upside down, saying "records are double sided!". Also, when I tried to explain the concept of burning a DVD/CD, he insisted on arguing, saying if I burned them I would melt them. Oh, and he thinks there's a... Read More » tiny needle in the DVD player that reads the "shiny records"...