Roommate Confessions

It’s been an entire week since your last confession and there’s been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 6 and don’t forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!

My roommate my freshman year was a pretty cool guy, but about halfway through the semester he got this asian music arcade game imported from Japan. It’s like guitar hero with no strumming, except the buttons make a ridiculously loud noise every time you push them. He proceeded to play this game until 2AM or later almost every night, even during exams. So the day before it was time to go home for Christmas, I unscrewed the bottom of the controller and filled it with 3-month-old moldy nacho cheese. I then put the screws back in, and he was none the wiser. It’s only a matter of time, bro.
Steve M. from Caltech

It’s been an entire week since your last confession and there’s been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don’t forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!

I lived with a friend of mine and his grilfriend in a 2 1/2 bedroom house. My friend and I were both shift workers and were up at 4:30am most days for work. After a while they broke up and she moved into the study as her name was still on the lease. This would have been fine except that she didn’t have a job or study and spent all day sleeping and all night browsing youtube watching video’s while my firend was whipped and continued to pay for everything for her. It all came to a head last year when Prince William and Kate Middleton got married. I had work the next day but the dumb bitch organised a party to watch it on tv with about 20 people I had never met. I only found out about this party the day before it was due, from my girlfirend, who asked me if she could come. Long story short I flipped out on her for not even telling me she was having it despite the fact she’d been organising it for 2 weeks. I ended up calling a mate with a ute and taking all my furniture which included the table, chairs, lounges, BBQ, all the cutlery, pots and pans and plates etc, the internet modem and router and best of all, the tv signal booster. I hope her friends enjoyed sitting around an empty house on the floor not watching the wedding.
Liam from CSU, Australia

It’s been an entire week since your last confession and there’s been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don’t forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!

I am not a messy person, I clean the bathroom every Saturday, I clean the kitchen before I go to bed, and I make sure that everything gets put away after I use it. My roommate, though, is a neurotic level clean freak who basically lives with her boyfriend. So she pretty much comes home to scrub the apartment with those chemicals that make your eyes sting and leave passive aggressive notes about how there was a spot on the mirror or a jacket on the couch and I really start cleaning up after myself. Before leaving for winter break, I made sure to get the place up to her level of clean but two days later, she sent me a text that said “I am so tired of cleaning up all of your sh*t, I am not your maid.” I calmly replied, asking what it was that I forgot to clean and she texted back “Did you or did you not leave Juno in the DVD player?”
Anonymous from CWU

It’s been an entire week since your last confession and there’s been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don’t forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!

So I used to live with my now ex-boyfriend, and he would always bitch about me not cleaning our room, even though the mess was all his. I cleaned up after him for 6 months. Then I found out he cheated on me, I moved out and cut all ties with him, but not before canceling his car insurance (which was on my account) and not telling him. Then I called his job and told them how he has been stealing from them. Three weeks later, he gets a notice in the mail from the DMV saying he had over $500 in fines for not having insurance on his vehicle and no job to pay it off! Think better next time you screw someone over who knows all your secrets.
C.R.

It’s been an entire week since your last confession and there’s been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don’t forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!

My roommate Is a sloppy pig. All she does is make messes and sits in it. I do all the cleaning dishes and buy all the food. One day i got fed up with it, so when I bought a pizza, I took my slices then I scratched my head till a crap load of my dandruff was all over the rest of the pie. Hope you like the extra topping!
Kyle Gilmore

It’s been an entire week since your last confession and there’s been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don’t forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!

I had this friend one time who couldn’t resist eating anything that was provided to him. One has to wonder what he does with this allowance since he comes from a well-to-do family. In our dorm, he was feeling kinda hungry so I offered him a burger. Without flinching, he ate/snarfed everything down in 3 bites. He doesnt know to this day that I got it off from the garbage bin across the hall.
John S. from Duke University

For whatever reason, my dorm phone number was once the number to a local pharmacy a few miles away from my school. Within my first week in the dorm I had received over a dozen calls from people asking to refill their prescription. Initially I

It’s been an entire week since your last confession and there’s been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don’t forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!

My roommate is a freeloading bitch who is too lazy to get off his ass and do any real work. He consistently has been pissing me off with all his dumb antics and likes to criticize everything I do. Today, he told me that they way I filled the ice cube trays was wrong. So I waited till he got back with all his groceries, stocked the freezer, and then went to go take a nap. I proceeded to empty all his stuff out of the freezer and pour a nice layer of water on the bottom of the freezer floor. I placed a layer of his stuff back in, and then poured water of that stuff as well. After finally putting all his stuff in, the bottom layer was already freezing over nicely. I will enjoy watching him trying to pry the frozen pizza boxes from the freezer walls.
Danny D.

It’s been an entire week since your last confession and there’s been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 6 and don’t forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!

So our suitemate is a bit of clean freak. He’s also a bit of dickhead, so we thought we’d have a little fun. My buddy and I spent about an hour collecting smelly fallen leaves from the park and stuffing them into bin bags, and then smuggled them past our scary receptionist by recruiting our stupid friend to distract him. Now our dickhead is very good at locking his door when he goes out, so we figured we’d have to be smart: we spent days working out his morning routine, and ascertained that the best time to strike would be when he went for a shower. So we got up really early one morning and waited in hiding for half an hour. When we saw him go to the shower, we ran into his room and started chucking leaves ALL over the place. By the end of it, his cupboards were full of leaves, his computer was unrecognizable, and there was foliage up to your knees on every inch of floor space. He was NOT a happy bunny.
Jackson P.

It’s been an entire week since your last confession and there’s been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don’t forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!

You know how your dog has started barking in the middle of the night and waking you up for the past couple months? Well I bought a dog whistle, and have been randomly blowing it throughout the night until the dog wakes you up. Pay me the money you owe me before I have to be even more creative tourmenting you.
J.S.

Once, my roommate was bragging about going out on a date with this really hot girl. While he was out I went on Facebook. By the time he came back with her I had glued all of this girl’s Facebook photos all over our apartment.
J.F.

It’s been an entire week since your last confession and there’s been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don’t forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!

You constantly made fun of our suitmate for having bad acne. He’s a good kid and you’re just an asshole who thinks he’s hot shit. He would never do anything because he’s too nice. I on the other hand have no problem taking a little revenge for him. So lately I’ve been putting the bacon grease from my breakfast into your face wash. Seeing your self esteem drop like a rock as your face blooms into a ripe mess of acne has been beyond gratifying. What goes around comes around right, brah.
K.A. College of Charleston

It’s been an entire week since your last confession and there’s been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don’t forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!

My roommate had a habit of making up illegal and crazy stories that I supposedly did the previous night, and then insisting it happened when I woke up to freak me out. I got fed up and decided to get him back. After a night out, I woke him up frantically shaking him, claiming the cops were there to arrest him for robbing a gas station that night. My cousin busted in, wearing a police uniform, dragged my terrified roommate outside and into his car, where he proceeded to drive him into the next city, kick him out, and leave.
Anna R.

My roommate is nearly 20 years old and still uses the baby pacifier she has had since she was a kid.
K.C.

It’s been an entire week since your last confession and there’s been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 6 and don’t forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!

My roommate is the most annoying person anyone can live with. But what get’s me the most is how unbelievably stupid he is. The other day we were eating take-out Chinese and I see him pop a fortune cookie in his mouth and swallow the whole damn thing, fortune paper and all. Then he says “OMG, do all fortune cookies have fortunes in them? ‘Cause I think I just ate paper.” The amazing thing is that wasn’t his first fortune cookie. He eats them all the time. What’s more amazing is that that was the THIRD time he’s forgotten to take out the fortune before eating. And all 3 times, he’s asked the same question.
Anonymous

It’s been an entire week since your last confession and there’s been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don’t forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!

My roommate constantly leaves her food all over the place. So one day I came home to find that my dog had gotten Twizzlers she left out. They were all over the floor. I let my dog continue to lick all of them, put them back in the bag and put them away. The next day I came home to find her chomping down on them. How does my dog’s breath taste?
Anonymous

It’s been an entire week since your last confession and there’s been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don’t forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!

When me and me friends went to Germany with the school (we live in the UK) we were staying on the bottom floor . We were getting ready to go in to the village and my friend who had been pulling pranks on us all through the trip was in the shower so the rest of us went outside and told every one to come stand in our room. We then took the towels from the bathroom. We shouted goodbye and pretended to leave the room. A few minutes later he came out the shower and shouted for a towel. We stayed quiet so he thought we were out of the room. He came out of the bathroom naked where we stood with cameras and about 30 other people. He freaked out and had to stay in another room on the floor for the rest of the week
Izaac W.

During my Junior year of school I decided to mess with my friend Shawn. He was one of my roommates and he owned a huge teddy bear. This thing was enormous. It stood like 4 feet high. Well one day I decided to take a

It’s been an entire week since your last confession and there’s been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 6 and don’t forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!

One of my guy friends freshman year had a bad habit of trying to sneak up on me and scare me because I jump easily. What he didn’t realize at the time, was that I was coming back to my room late at night because I had been at the taekwondo club practice. So one of my roommates let him in and he turned off all of the lights and waited just behind the door for when I came home. He jumped out and before I realized what I was doing, I roundhoused her in the stomach and threw him over my shoulder and out the door, and slammed the door behind me. My roommates couldn’t stop laughing, so after they stopped recording what happened, they told me what had just happened and that I just took out our friend. I apologized, but I really didn’t mean it. He definitely deserved it.
Jen S. from GWU

It’s been an entire week since your last confession and there’s been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 6 and don’t forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!

My roommates got mad at me for having a dog, so I scheduled to take her home to my parents on winter break which was about a week away. That wasn’t good enough for them. Even though the dog had been there for months, they wanted her out then and there, requiring me to drive nine hours home. The house we lived in was a filthy cigarette filled dump that you couldn’t walk around in without shoes. I couldn’t even stand to eat in the place, but my roommates could, and they always left dirty dishes around. Before I left for the long drive, my dog did a really nice job getting all of the dishes clean, and I neatly stacked them in the cabinet. Dogs mouths are supposed to be clean right?
Fara F.

It’s been an entire week since your last confession and there’s been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don’t forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!

I’m one of 4 guys in an apartment, and we had to go potluck for our last room mate. The new guy isn’t too bad, but he set up his 50” TV right in from of his bed in his room, and is always watching it. Always. He cranks the volume up to ear splitting levels and has a bad habit of leaving his room locked – TV on – while at class. Being a bored electrical engineer, I wired up one of those mini-remotes that can turn off TVs directly into the empty light switch outside his room. Whenever he’s playing his TV too loud, I walk by, flip the light switch, and the remote does it’s thing. Or when I’m bored, really. He gets so aggravated when he can’t play Call of Duty that he starts screaming at the TV about “not working” and works himself into a rabid froth. So, he’s going out to buy a newer, bigger TV, and I offered to buy his “broken” one off him. Something tells me he’s going to be very interested in Walmart’s return policy.
Richard LeDouche from UNC

It’s been an entire week since your last confession and there’s been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don’t forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!

Two weeks ago, my friend Bucky moved all the way across the country in pursuit of only God knows what, his last words before leaving being “And onwards to the core of nowhere!” While stomping the gas pedal to get on the road. While he was packing stuff into his car, however, I got the brilliant idea to place something in there that I knew he’d hate. I had several of his little Annoy-a-trons that he’d deployed all over my house, and most were still pretty well charged. There are currently 31 of those little beeping bastards going off in the stuff he packed up, of which are placed at random within his boxes and the remainder of them placed all around the car itself. To make things worse, some beep and some do this buzzing that will piss you off by the second time it goes off. I’m pretty sure he’s about ready to come home and kick my ass for the interesting trip he had.
Anthony F. from UAB

It’s been an entire week since your last confession and there’s been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don’t forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!

My roommate hates the smell of toothpaste, and she was dumb enough to confess this to me. In the middle of the night, every night, I can hear her scrubbing the bathroom sink because she can smell it from her bed, and it makes her nauseous. While she was at class last week, I rubbed toothpaste behind the headboard of her bed frame. She has taken three showers today because she thinks the smell is on her. Sweet dreams, bitch.
Emma M.

It’s been an entire week since your last confession and there’s been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don’t forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!

This is something that I unintentionally did to myself. I had a roommate who was also my girlfriend (yay lesbians?), which was pretty cool. I was showering one day and decided to brush my teeth while in there. Looking around I see the vague shape of what looks like my tooth brush (I have terrible eyesight and I’m not about to shower with my glasses on). So, I start brushing and notice a funky taste so I’m thinking “oh, it’s been in the shower so maybe soap got on it.” Cut to a few hours later me telling the story to my girlfriend. Imagine the look on her face when she tells me that’s the toothbrush she’s been putting fungal medication on to scrub her infected toenails.
Vee H. from CSUF