Tolerance for moldy bagels
Ex-Cons you’re on a first name basis with
Jokes you have about the dining hall
Bent silverware collection
Diarrhea
Number of times you select to eat something from the ‘Ethnic Foods’ menu
Amount of goat skin in daily diet
The Graphic Truth (Page 9)
The Graphic Truth is where the CollegeHumor staff attempt to explain the world around them with images. Why images? Because words are tedious and boring and much less colorful. And we like colors.
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Extra cash to spend on fireworks
Disappointment
Likelihood that it’s a boat
Likelihood that it’s a desk calendar
Handjobs received
Amount you cheat on her
How difficult it is to read this sentence
World of Warcraft expertise
Lies about sex life told
Masturbation frequency
Interest in handjobs
Penicillin intake
Penis size
Popularity Of Names Over The Last 100 Years
Phineas
Adolph
Mario
John
Slap Bracelet
Orenthal James
Number of friends
Amount of money your parents are “wasting” on you
Depression
Social acceptance of hooking up with Freshmen
How obsolete your computer is
Weight
Bitterness towards Family Guy
Time spent defending the continuous quality of the show
Likelihood of saying, “Come on guys, from The Simpsons?” after obscure quotes
Amount you appreciate Maggie
Average screen time given to your favorite character (known as the Cletus Conjecture)
Belief that learning the greater Simpsons vernacular is a cromulent activity that embiggens the mind
Amount that you “get” Comic Book Guy
Amount of mustache combs you own
How ironically funny your friends think you are
Compliments
Amount of mustache competitions won
Amount you look like a cop
Amount you look like a homosexual
Amount of hair you’ll be able to easily chew
Desire to kidnap women and tie them to railroad tracks
How much you want to be back at school
Amount of parents you hate
Number of times you’ve watched Forrest Gump on TBS
Number of times you’ve hated yourself
Regularity of bowel movements
Desire to see your high school friends
Jones for Egg Nog
You’ve been at school for about 3 months now. Here’s how you’ve been spending your free time.
Sometimes when we drink a lot we don’t realize what effect it’s having on our lives. Well here’s a helpful chart to give you an idea. At least for the short term effects.
