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Rockstar bonehead Ted Nugent says lots of dumb things. Last week, he indirectly threatened President Obama at an NRA meeting in St. Louis, and had to meet with the Secret Service as a result. You’ve got to wonder: what goes through this guy’s head?
Exclusive Leaks
Egypt is preparing to introduce a new law that would allow husbands to have sex with their wives up to six hours after death. Here are the leaked minutes leading to this decision:
1. Put on his red hat and go back to making E.L. Fudge cookies.
2. Angrily stomp around his house wailing about nothing in particular.
3. Rabble-rouse.
HumorUs
Wanna feel old? Zack Morris (aka Mark-Paul Gosselaar) turns 101 years old today.
— Amir Blumenfeld (@jakeandamir) April 25, 2012
I’d enjoy Game of Thrones more if everyone wore name tags, and summaries of their stories so far.
— Kevin Corrigan (@kevincorrigan) April 16, 2012
Open mics teach you a simple three-step formula for effective joke-telling: Setup, Punchline, Insist Punchline Was Funny.
— Alex Schmidt (@AlexSchmidty) April 16, 2012
Do you think Justin Timberlake has ever danced his penis into a girl then moonwalked out? I’ve got to believe the answer is yes.
— mah ree nah (@marinarachael) April 20, 2012
Do teens wear different Angry Birds on their shirts 2 indicate social status? Saw a kid in a red bird tee get jumped by a gang & was curious
— H. Caldwell Tanner (@caldy) April 25, 2012
Getting back together with an ex is like rewatching Lost. You loved it the first time around but you know it’ll eventually end really poorly
— Dave Rosenberg (@Davey_F_Baby) April 27, 2012
HumorUs
Saying “I’m high as a kite!” means you’re probably a little high. Saying “I am a kite!” means you’re high as a kite.
— Streeter Seidell (@streetseidell) April 23, 2012
This DIDN’T happen, BUT doesn’t it SEEM like Urban Outfitters got in trouble today for selling a shirt that says “Pretty Girls Don’t Read?”
— Amir Blumenfeld (@jakeandamir) May 3, 2012
Someday historians will look back on these times and think, “Man, I am DROWNING in student loan debt. I should have gone into marketing.”
— Alex Schmidt (@AlexSchmidty) May 1, 2012
BREAKING: Avengers screening breaks record for highest “old bags of Combos in cargo shorts pockets” per theater average
— Saj P (@sajpo) May 4, 2012
The worst part of having the same shirt as a coworker is getting them fired.
— Alex Watt (@AlexanderWatt) May 2, 2012
If Veep were about Joe Biden, it would be Entourage.
— Hallie Cantor (@halliecantor) April 26, 2012
One day someone’s going to make me eat my words, which is why from now on I’m going to communicate entirely in ice cream flavors.
— H. Caldwell Tanner (@caldy) April 26, 2012
After his successful performance at last week’s White House Correspondent’s Dinner, President Obama has decided to sharpen his comedic chops and try his hand at insult comedy. Which is pretty weird of him.
My fellow Americans.
It’s no secret that a lot of folks out there are hurting. Yes, some due to hunting accidents. But mostly I’m referring to the economy. Families struggle daily to make ends meet, and while we’ve seen improvement, there’s still more work to be done.
Now, normally this is where I would urge you to cast a vote for me in November so that we don’t revert back to the dangerous and misguided economic policies that got us into this whole mess in the first place.
But there’s no need for that now, because I’ve invented a time machine.
Many of you are no doubt celebrating. With the ability to time travel, we can go back and cure diseases. End wars. See our loved ones who’ve since passed on. Fact-check Michael Bay’s Pearl Harbor. Invent baseball.
Or, we could travel ahead. Prevent the next pandemic. Combat poverty. Witness our nation’s highways dominated by Segways. See if Scientology’s still going.
But we’re not doing any of that. Instead, we’re going back to 2008.
So I needed to take down a bag of laundry to the laundry machines in the basement. And I figured, “Oh, along the way, lemme take out the trash!” Which by the way, was disgusting. (cleaned out my fridge last night…) Food scraps. Expired milk. The whole nine yards.
So I am dragging these two large bags — one filled with stinky, disgusting, garbage, and one filled with my clothes. I toss the garbage bag down the trash chute (or so I thought! More on this later…) and made my way to the washing machine with my “clothes.”
I put all my “clothes” in the washing machine, load the detergent, start the machines and wait 45 minutes for the “clothes” to wash. I stay down there the whole time, reading a book (“City of Thieves.” Amazing.) The washing machine dings, I take out my “clothes” and move them to the dryer. Not noticing ANYTHING. Okay, keep in mind, the entire time I’m down there, all I smell is garbage. It’s disgusting.
CollegeHumor Interview
- CH
Thank you for doing this.
- Danny Pudi
Thank you. I appreciate it; it feels good to be recorded. Woooo! And not by my cable company, so that’s good.
- CH
Let’s talk a little bit about Community. Earlier this year you were on hiatus, and there was some worry among the fans that the show was going to be canceled, and we saw a lot of the fans rallying behind the show. Can you speak a bit about what the feeling was like among the cast during that intervening period?
- Danny Pudi
Yeah, I mean, I think we were concerned, a little saddened, I think it’s sort of inevitable. Each season of this show has been really ambitious, but we have been ratings challenged throughout. At the end of every season there’s always been a little bit of uncertainty on set. So at least we’re comfortable with feeling; we’ve had that all along. But it’s come this far: three seasons of this really ambitious, great show, and we are like a family on set. We really love what we do. We’re working in a creative, fun environment with such great people. When you hear your show is getting put on hiatus, it’s like anything else: “Oh, what’s it going to be like when I can’t see these people every day, and I can’t work on pillow forts anymore?” Because, ideally, I’d like to work on pillow forts for the rest of my life.
- CH
It does seem like there’s a fun atmosphere on set, at least in terms of all these characters who get to do these fun things, and be a child in a certain sense.
