Having spent several years in the military I decided it was time to get out and go back to college, so i could get a real job. And though the GI Bill have me plenty of money for school and i had a lot saved up from active duty and deployments I still needed a job so I did the lowest think I could imagine, i worked for certain well know department store. Well, anyone who... Read More » spends any time in the military knows that over time that little filter that keeps the messed up stuff in your mind from coming out your mouth eventually goes away. that is a bad mix for customer service. Every day people came up to me with their stupid questions and for about the first hour i could bite my tongue but then would lose it and tell them how retarded they are to which they would leave to go home and possibly hang themselves. One day an incredibly fat lady came up to me all pissed off because the size 6 jeans she bought had ripped as she tried to put her foot into them (seriously, she told me this, and this woman was freaken massive) all I could do was laugh as I refunded her money then gave her a stack to weigh watchers coupons. It took them 6 months to finally fire me, and not for how i treated customers (or managers) but because I went over on a break by 3 minutes.

While working at my grocery store a lady approached me asking where our ice is at. I explained that I would get it for her I just needed to know if she needed a 10 pound bag or 20. She replied what's the difference. Oh I dunno 10 pounds?

I work at a mental health agency and my supervisor, who is British, still has a fairly strong accent. We were talking in the office the other day when a client walked in and earnestly asked her what 'the old British word "twat"' was slang for. Awesome.

I work as flight attendant on small regional planes across Canada. Our small propeller planes seat up to 37 passengers and have only 9 rows. As we fly across some very remote areas to mines, smalls towns and logging facilities we do not always get accurate weather reports. One particularly stormy night over Northern Ontario heading to a small town we flew into a weather... Read More » system that beat our little yet sturdy plane in all directions. A young couple began getting into a fight across the aisle. They were so angry at each other that they flung used vomit bags at each other. It was only on the ground that I saw that their 'water balloon' type fight yielded vomit all over the seats, walls and ceiling of the aircraft. The location we went to did not provide cleaning staff. The two pilots and I were left to clean the cabin before returning home.

I'm an EMT -- I was called out late one night for an elderly lady who slipped and fell in a senior living center. The living attendant greeted me, my partner, and assistant chief at the lobby and said the lady "...slipped on the way to the bathroom". His subtle hint flew over my head until I got off the elevator. I was met by the strong smell of crap, well over 100 feet away... Read More » from the apartment I was heading to. Long story short, the lady was perfectly fine -- she just slipped on the floor and just needed help getting up. My partner lifted up the lady from the front, and (lucky me) I had to assist picking her up from the back, all the while we stood on a crap smeared floor. My assistant chief along with the police officer stood in the hallway laughing hysterically the whole time. I spent the next hour decontaminating my work boots.

I work at a restaurant which doesn't generally attract the most classy, generous customers. One day, four whale-sized women order huge appetizer samplers each and finish up their buffalo wings with several extra sides of bleu cheese dressing. As I reach over, eye-level, the table to grab their finished plates, one of the women decides to unleash a spicy, ghetto belch. Right... Read More » into my mouth. I could seriously taste her digested, barely-masticated buffalo wings in the back of my throat. I'm not entirely sure how I gave my two weeks notice without throwing up all over the woman's eye sockets.