my roommate farts, really loud, in his sleep almost every night. i dont do anything about it, it's just mad funny..

I used to have a massive bitch and slut for a roommate. She would talk down on people, acted like she knew everything even when proven wrong, and was known as the "house whore" for one of the frats on campus. I moved out before the year ended because I couldn't stand her anymore. A couple weeks later when I walked past my old dorm I noticed she left her window open, so I... Read More » went and captured one of the stray cats that always wanders near the dumpster, tossed it in the window and shut it in. I stayed for a few minutes to watch it freak out, tear up everything and piss everywhere. She was fined $1500 for having an "unauthorized pet" and for the damage it caused.

I'm pretty sure you've figured it out by now, but I maced the toilet paper when I moved. Miss you! :P

My roommate is a decent human being to talk to, but his nonverbal actions would make anyone go crazy. He eats chips and nuts obnoxiously loud with his mouth open, smells, slams the door in the early mornings, leaves for home on the weekends without turning off his 730am alarm... and the list goes on and on. He's a smart kid, but he thinks he's the most clever kid to have... Read More » lived. He always has these stupid little experiments in our room that are just worthless, like burning vegetable oil and other random shit that smells, or tries new ways to get rid of his excessive acne (which actually makes his acne worse and leads to him popping his zits on our mirror, which he never cleans). After talking to him numerous times about all of these things, he still hasn't changed. At the beginning of the year, he bought a 40 dollar, loud-ass dehydrator because he was going to use it for multiple reasons like meat, veggies, and of course his stupid little experiments. Well this lasted for about a week before he got tired of it and he hasn't used the damned thing since. The other weekend when he was gone and his fucking alarm went off at 730, i couldnt get back to sleep, so i took the liberty of pissing in a bag of doritos he had, threw them in the dehydrator, and before he got back, put the chips back in the bag. The first thing he does when he gets back? Opens up his bag of piss-covered chips and starts crunching with his mouth open. It didn't even bother me... I just sat back and smiled

While out of town my room got painted pink with butterflies. Touche. In retaliation, the next time my roommate left town I took the trim off of his bedroom door and drywalled over the opening. Taped, mudded, and painted as though the door never existed. Oh, and before I did this I wrote a script that emitted random 'meows' from his computer and hid his cat in my room... Read More » when he got home. The best part was when he tried to bust through the drywall by slamming into it. Did I forget to mention that I had reinforced the doorway with a giant "X" made of 2x4? My bad...

some dumb girls on my hall decided a great prank would be to steal our dirty laundry and throw it on the roof of the dorm. Real funny, who misses dirty laundry or even cares if it gets rained on and shit after all it is dirty. Not me. Anyways in return while two of the girls were away for a weekend I had every guy on the hall shit in their toilet and not flush. A heaping... Read More » pile of shit greeted them when they returned. It clogged when they tried to flush it and the heaping pile of shit covered their bathroom floor. Sooooo gnarly