I Fought the Law

I was on exchange in India when I was 16 and my friend thought it would be cool to buy a "genuine indian hunting knife" - one of those awesome giant curved blades. We lived in dorms and had occasional room checks. Inevitably one of the Dorm Parents found his knife, but instead of getting him in trouble he just asked how much he had paid for it, and proclaimed that... Read More » my friend had paid 3 times too much. He then proceeded to check my friend out of boarding for the day to track down the seller and demand the money back. indian boading schools... awesome

February 22, 2012

As teenagers, my friends and I were like most other teenagers - drinking underage and trying to not get caught. Well, one of our favorite spots to drink was this park that had a pavillion and picnic tables. Occasionally a cop would ride through the park, but they would always come in on the far side so we would see them and have more than enough time to run without being... Read More » noticed. Well, i guess they started to get smart cuz one night, a cop rode into the park on the opposite side - the side closest to us. We all took off running until we heard the cop yell "get back here now or you're gettin tazed!" so my 4 friends and i reluctantly walked back to the cop. He was sitting on the picnic table that had our bottle of booze on it. He had us all sit down with him, and then he started lecturing us. Pretty much, he said he understood what it was like to be a teenager and to drink underage, but he doesn't want us leaving a mess at the park for smaller kids to see during the day. So instead of writing us all underage consumption/posession tickets, he turned on his spotlight, shined it on the pavillion floor and had all of us pick up 5 pieces of trash and throw it away, and then let us go. Nicest cop i've ever met!

February 21, 2012

I think this story makes me smile more than others. So I got an emergency call from work saying I needed to get there asap (I worked for the state at the time). So I hop in my car and head towards work all the while I have a suspended drivers license. I get a half mile from my house and get pulled over. After sitting in the car saying to myself obscenities to my self for 10... Read More » minutes the cop gets out and walks up. To my surprise it was a lady cop....a very fine lady cop. We went through the paperwork bit and then I had to go stand by her car. She tells me to put my hands on the car and proceeds to put her hands on me (I'm thinking it's getting good). She proceeds to frisk me, but let I remind you it is illegal for opposite sex to frisk you. I didn't object because she was sexy. She grabbed my man parts full grope not once, but TWICE! I thought it was awesome! Until I got put in the back of the car. You know what got me out of trouble? Being 19 and having a case of beer left in my trunk. Cop kept the brew and gave me a ride home and I didn't have to pay. I'm a cheap date.

February 21, 2012

A friend of mine got arrested for public drunkenness and hauled off to jail. I got arrested for the same thing shortly after and hauled off to jail. When I joined her in the common room at the jail, she thought I was there to pick her up. I had to show her that I to, had no shoes on (the officers take your shoes) and had also been arrested.

February 21, 2012

I was underage and at a party on campus with one of my Friends from Scotland when all of a sudden the cops show up and start asking everyone for IDs, I hand mine to them hoping they don't look too closely, unfortunately they do, and they proceed to ask me if I have been drinking, which I have. I say no, and then my Scottish friend and coolest guy in the world walks up and... Read More » convinces him that I'm his DD for the night. He tells them he doesn't have his foreign ID on him and that they have to go to his dorm to pick it up. He leaves the party with them, and I'm left home free. My friend was "of age" so I knew he wouldn't get ticketed, but what I didn't know was that he would lead them walking for 2 miles all over the campus till they eventually reached his dorm which was a two minute walk from the party. Apparently the cops never realized that you don't need a DD for walking less than 500 yards.

February 18, 2012

When I was 13 or so, my friends and I went to the playground of a nearby elementary school and started cursing and spitting and mooning each other, all as a huge joke. Well, it was getting dark, and my friend decides to take a piss on the building rather openly. We see a cop car pull into the parking lot. Given that my friend who was pissing was black, I am 1/4 Indian (India... Read More » Indian) and hence dark enough to look like I could be Latino, we were 13, and this was not a great neighborhood, we tacitly agree to run like hell into the nearby forest. Well, one of our friends was slow as hell and didn't get there in time. As the cop was interrogating him, we watched behind pricker bushes. All of a sudden, the friend who was being interrogated pointed in our direction and we made a break for it. The cop shouted to us "It's OK, I just wanted you to get out of here so I could make out with my girlfriend at this spot! Jesus, if I had to arrest every teenager in this neighborhood for pissing...". I guess cops aren't all so hardworking after all...

February 18, 2012

I was doing the speed limit heading back from Ocean City, MD the other night when I get pulled over. I don't know what it's for, so I get all my info together, roll down the window, and wait. When the cop comes up to the window, he very angrily asks "So what makes you think it's okay to flick cigarette butts out the window?!" I don't smoke cigs and neither did... Read More » my passenger, so I told him it wasn't us. He was absolutely furious. We went back and forth - me trying to convince him, him saying I was calling him a liar - for a while. I keep offering to let him search the car because I didn't even have so much as a lighter. Eventually, he lets us go because he said he didn't smell anything. The next day, while cleaning out my car, I find a nug of pot the size of a quarter just chilling on the carpet. I must've dropped it accidentally, because I never EVER keep anything in the car. I didn't know it was there the entire time I kept asking the officer to search my car.

February 17, 2012

When I was 16, I was walking home one night from my girlfriend's (at the time) like any other night. Now, as a teen, I had a shaved head, but that's as far as it goes for me looking like "a bad ass". I was super straight edge. I got to the corner across the street from my apartment, and I was waiting patiently at the light to cross, when all of a sudden I hear the... Read More » wailers and see flashing lights coming in my direction. Two cops get out of their car, tell me to come over and proceed to start hassling me. Given where I lived (tantamount to gang territory) and the fact that I was a teen out past 11PM, this was annoying, but not a huge surprise. The first question they asked me was "where am I going?" I said home. They asked where home is, and I could point to my window from where I was standing. That wasn't good enough. They decided they were going to demand that I "empty my pockets on the hood of the car". I refused, at which point they accused me of having something to hide. But what they didn't know was that I was taking classes in Canadian law at my high school, and had already covered the section on statutes on search and seizure and probable cause. So I told them flat out: "Give me your badge number, and I'll empty my pockets. And, when you find nothing there, I'll be down at your station tomorrow with a lawyer and I won't leave until I have your job because I gave you no probable cause to stop me, let alone undergo a search and seizure of my personal belongings. And if you don't like it, fuck off". Needless to say, they got back in their car and told me to go home. And I did, smiling.

February 16, 2012

I just moved into a new apartment here in Amsterdam. But all of the paperwork wasn't in order yet so technically I wasn't living there yet. I came home drunk one morning and realized I did not have my keys on me. So I climbed up the drainpipe (I live on the first floor), kicked in the window, which took some acrobatics, got in and closed the curtain. I immediately started... Read More » looking for my house keys (which I later found out a colleague had in his coat pocket) when the police showed up in front of my building. FOUR CARS in total. I let two officers in and the asked me if I could identify myself, that was easy, then they asked me if I could proof to them that I was the residing there. Like I said before, I couldn't. The officer asked me if there was any other reason to identify myself and then I saw my laptop on my bed. I opened it and showed him my facebook page. There was nothing on there about my new place, but strangely enough that was enough for them. They let me off with a warning. The glass insurance paid for the window, because a candlestick fell against it.

February 17, 2012

While on break from uni, my friend and I decided to hang at his apartment and play video games. We needed batteries so we left for 7-11. My friend forgot his key to the apt. building. Only one window had a light shining out, so we took a tennis ball and threw it at the window to be let in. Suspicious, the lady in the apt. refused to help us. We give up on this and go... Read More » to the fire escape. Seeing little use in both of us buildering that night, I stay on the ground and wait as my friend starts climbing. The cops soon show up. I try to get away but am quickly cornered. They start off by assuming that I'm drunk, but I'm not. Ask for my ID, I search my pockets and accidentally pull out my friend's driver's license (he was wearing shorts with no pockets so I was carrying it). They assume it's fake. I explain the whole story to them but they won't believe me, and they start calling me gay (which I'm not). Out of hope at this point, my friend runs up with his shorts on and explains the exact same story. Their prior self-assured harassment backfires and they let us go.

February 17, 2012

My boyfriend and I were driving to his place one evening for a stars wars marathon. Since he lived out in the middle of nowhere he liked to go 90 mph. The cops didn't really care for it that much and pulled us over. After chatting with us for a bit they let us go with a warning. After the marathon my boyfriend decided to go 90 mph again, and get pulled over the same cops in... Read More » the same place. They scolded us for a minute and then started whispering among themselves. I over heard them saying; "she is really hot. He probablly going to get laid tonight, the least we can do is help him out." And they let us go.

February 16, 2012

So my uncle steals credit cards. It's kind of his thing. They once called him 'Plastic Joe' on the news, which he wildly objected to, claiming that it made him sound "like a Goddamn vibrator!" Anyway, when I was 11, the cops were raiding our house, looking for evidence to incarcerate my dear, misguided uncle. The whole family is on the porch, and my lazy-eyed dog... Read More » will not stop barking at the asshole police. They tell us that we had better shut the dog up, because he does have the authority to shoot it. I'm thinking that if he even tries to shoot my dumbass mouth breather dog, I'll punch him in the tooth. A couple of minutes later, another officer comes out of the house, and slams down a comically large orange envelope on the table, and blank credit cards and credit card paraphernalia spill out everywhere. The officer has death in his eyes, and demands to know who the envelope belongs to. Nobody says anything. But then smart ass 11 year old me stands up, and says dramatically, "Officer. Those are obviously mine. I'm a mafia crime lord. They call me Plastic Joe." I extend my wrists for cuffs. "Be gentle." The shit hits the fan. The officers get furious, my grandma is trying to tell them I was obviously joking, my sister is calling me stupid, and my uncle is laughing his balls off. 11 year old girl: 1 Cops: 0 Well, I mean...my uncle did end up getting arrested. So...maybe it's a tie.

February 15, 2012

I used to work night shift manufacturing in small town Nebraska. After work, I went home and bummed around a bit, when my roommate and I realized we were hungry for some greasy food. Everything is shut down except a 24 truck stop about 20 minutes away. We head out, and half way there we see lights flashing in the rear. He wasn't speeding so we had no idea why we were... Read More » getting pulled over (turns out it was a burnt out tail light). The cop comes up, sees two mid twenties guys wearing huddies, and when he asked us where we were going answered him that we were going to the truck stop because we had the munchies. 45 minutes go by and we hear a dog sniffing the car, barking at the trunk. I look at my friend and say "Your not sending me to jail man!", "No, I clean, really." Sweet is poring down our face when the officer says, "Both of you step out of the car NOW." We comply, and 5 officers search every inch of the two of us. Then they search his trunk, "SIR, ARE THESE YOUR WEAPONS?", My friend answers, "That's my key chain pocket knife, I forgot it was in there." The offices disregards it than spits back "WHATS THIS?!?" My friend squeaked out "That's a vase sir." Much to their disappointment, we were clean, and they let us go. I still chuckle when I go back to visit and see his vase.

February 15, 2012

When you're little everyone wants to crank call the police. Most people do, hang up and then have angry police officers give them a scolding in front of their parents. When I was 6 or 7 I wanted desperately to crank call 911 but didn't know how I'd bee able to get away with it. One day when I was at a HUGE department/antique store I realized that it was finally the day,... Read More » they'd never find out it was me! I found a phone, called 911 and quickly hung up. We'd been there a while a so about the time my family and I were leaving the police pulled up. We were gone before anyone could even suspect. I'd never had a more satisfying day in my 6 year old life.

February 15, 2012

I once got pulled over by a police car because one of my flashers didn't work well. So as the officer was asking for my paper he saw something in my cup holder. He asked me to stepped out of the car then he reached for that greenish thing in my cup holder. He then calls his partner to come and look at what he founded. He said "Look at what we found here! Would you... Read More » explain to us what this chunk of marijuana is doing in your car?" Then I looked at it confusing, because I've never had marijuana in my car, to finally realized how dumb those cops were. I said "What are you retarded?! This is a f*cking piece of salad that fell from a Big Mac." The cops, then looked at each other confused and embarrassed then wished me a good day. I mean SERIOUSLY!?

February 15, 2012

It was Case day at uni, so my campus was full of drunks and police. My friends and I decided to make Wizard staffs and play Star Craft II. It was 2am and we were hungry, we went for a walk to McDonalds, with our staffs, obviously. On the way a car pulled over and proceeded to ask what we were holding, after informing them they were wizard staffs they commanded us to "F*... Read More »ckin' come over here", obviously we said no and continued to walk. At this stage they turned on their sirens and 3 large police officers jumped out of the car, forced us to throw down the staffs and were going to book us for drunk and disorderly, and pin us as the people who had stolen property and beat down on some fellow students. When they asked what we were doing tonight, I told them we were having a Star Craft party. They laughed, turned around and left, saying "I wouldn't go around telling people that".

February 15, 2012

When i was a junior in high school me and my girlfriend at the time wanted to have some afternoon delight. seeing as we both lived with our parents we needed to do this away from home, so we drove my car into a secluded parking lot and started doing our business in the back seat. all of a sudden we hear sirens and realize that there is a cop car 20 feet from us with its... Read More » lights on. I got out of the car while pulling my pants on and the cop asked for both my ID and my girlfriends ID. Seeing as i live in a peaceful town, it didn't take but 5 minutes for 4 other police cars and a K-9 Unit to be on the scene while i was getting dressed. Most of the police were just laughing and standing around, and one of them just told me to find a better place to hide my car. Luckily we only got off with a warning.

February 15, 2012

After a night (more like during) of heavy drinking, my friend and I were riding bikes around our little island town in the Florida Keys. We rode past a balcony of girls who began hollering and whistling for us. we stopped around the corner, which was the last sober or sound decision we made that night. We decided it would be in our best interest as well for the sake of... Read More » humor, to do one more lap around that particular block, only without any clothes on. My friend went first, shooting around the block and disappearing behind the corner. I followed behind only to realize as I was turning the corner that I was riding directly in front of the headlights of a god damned cop car. I began hauling ass (still naked) through this residential neighborhood eventually ditching into someone's front yard. The cops spotted my bike and flashed the spot light on my very white ass. I came out with my hands up. After an hour of sitting on the curb sans clothes, while more and more cops showed up ( several of which I went to High School with) They only charged me with going down a one way and running a stop sign. My friend made it one more block further than me and made it home free.

February 14, 2012

I had college friends in town and we went out drinking. We wound the night down by smoking a little at a friend's apartment. As I drove us back to my place just a couple of miles away, I got pulled over. I was probably not fit to take a sobriety test, and the cop told me he smelled alcohol and asked me if I had been drinking. I MEANT to say "I had a couple of beers,... Read More » but that was a couple of hours ago." Instead, I said "I had a couple of beers, but that was a couple of years ago." He completely ignored (or didn't notice) my slip up, proceeded to give me a warning, and let me go.

February 14, 2012

a couple of friends an i are big into airsoft. i've got a really nice MP5 that looks like the real deal. i took that stupid orange tip off and painted it up to make it look even more realistic. well i had the gun sitting on my bed in my dorm one night and the maintenance man came in to check the smoke alarms. seeing my gun on the bed, he called the cops. the next morning i... Read More » woke up to a friendly (and very real) AR15 pointed at my head with several cops asking me to get up very slowly. i explained to them that the gun was fake and they let me off. but kept my gun. bastards.

February 14, 2012