I Fought the Law

One of my favorite stories my dad tells, is about the day mom was giving birth to my brother. Back then, my parents lived quite a ways from the city, so it was a long drive to the hospital that could handle childbirths. Mom's in labor, so dad's got her in the the car, and is speeding down the highway doing a good 40-50KPH over the limit at least, blowing through the tiny... Read More » communities and pit stops on the way. Soon enough, there's an RCMP officer behind him, lights, sirens, the whole works. Dad decides to not stop, and for a good 20 minutes this cop is on his tail. He finally reaches the hospital, pulls in, and jumps out of the car. The cop does too, screaming at him to stop, and demanding to know what the hell he was doing. As my dad is opening the passenger door for my mom, he looks to the cop and screams "My wife's having a baby! Gimme a hand here!", to which the cop stops in his tracks, throws his arms up and yells "Have a nice day sir!" and promptly gets into his car and leaves.

I was once pulled over for driving on the carpool lane by myself, but the cop didn't know I was receiving road-head from my girlfriend and he asked where she came from. I looked him in the eyes gave him somewhat of a signal and there was an awkward pause. He stepped back and said "Drive safely now."

OK, so I was at this festival and i noticed a little fire oon the pipes coming out of the foodtent i was at. I told the people about it and they put it out. They gave me the funnel cake I ordered, and i figured i had already done enough for them, so I ran off with it as fast as i could

So, I was in a closed park in the middle of the night, just on my way out, when a police car drives past the park. I didn't think they saw me and started to climb over the fence. When I am halfway over I noticed that the police car had stopped a 100 meter down the road, and as I continue my way down from the fence, the car starts to back. I quickly hide myself behind a... Read More » nearby parked car, and watch as the police car stops and two policemen gets out of the car. They then walk up to the fence to flash their flashlight and yell at "the person inside to come out", for at least 5 min before giving up and driving away.

So about eight or nine of us were out on my third story roof at school one of the last nights, drinking, smoking and chilling. Some cops were rolling down the alley behind our house when a bottle, (not from any of us) shattered in their direction. Immediately there were spotlights on the roof while the cops yelled rational things like "Which one of you shits threw a... Read More » bottle?!" and "We're coming to get you fuckers!" Everyone scrambled inside and out of my room except for me, I stayed and stashed my illegals in my couch compartment and locked my door. 15 seconds after i hide the last thing 2 cops burst in from the roof, through my 3rd story bedroom window, with my underage boyfriend in tow, saying they smell weed, which i denied. (They actually smelled the bong water I had just dumped). The main one proceeds to scream at me while I try to very politely explain that it wasn't any of us who threw the bottle. While this was happening there was apparently a fucking SWAT team downstairs, who reported that it had been a clear bottle. Angry cop swore at me again and demanded to see our clear bottles, I calmly showed him all our empties, dark green Yuenglings and Natty Boh cans. By this time the other cops were slowly realizing their mistake, and came up and dismissed their very angry co-worker, told me I was very rational, and left. Nothing like actually being innocent of one crime to let you get away with a bunch of others.

A number of years ago I thought it would be nice to take my martial arts class outside to the park to train. We had been there for a little over an hour when it began to get dark. It was then a Police cruiser drover over the curb and straight into the park, flashing his lights and turned on his roof spotlight; aiming it at us. I quickly, but calmly walked over to the cruiser... Read More » to ask what the issue was. The officer in the drivers seat started asking me questions about what we were doing in the park and I responded with the truth. Sadly I have a stutter, though not too bad it is noticeable. The officer then started badgering me, asking why I was so nervous, what am I hiding, etc.. I then became insulted and told him I stuttered to which he replied "Suuuuuure you do buddy" and started exiting his vehicle with his nightstick in hand. He then stopped, got back in the car and told me I was lucky and drove off. I thought he must have thought better of arresting me without cause and smiled. I turned around to resume class and all 32 of my students were less than 10 feet behind me, standing cross armed and looking very annoyed at the car driving away. Guess he figured it wasn't worth it.

I was driving home with a friend from a concert where we had been drinking. I wasn't really drunk, but may have blown over the limit. On the way home we decided to burn one. We pull up to a light and a cop comes up behind us. They follow us for a few turns and my buddy eats the roach. 20 seconds later... blue lights. They tell me they pulled me over cause they could smell... Read More » the smoke while driving behind us. They ask us where the bud is, ask us if they can search the car, etc. We play dumb the whole time and I end up telling them my wife was supposed to pick up the car but she told me she got a ride with someone else and they must have smoked up the car. Since they found nothing, they told me to talk to my wife and her friends about it and get home safe. No DUI, no possession, no driving while under the influence of drugs.. nothing. The real lesson here, always hotbox.

So a while back me and a few of my friends went to this relatively small party, with beer, liqour, and some weed. Now my friend who was driving me had just gotten his license, but is obsessed with new cars and almost always speeds. However, he constantly relies on his parents for money and never fills his gas tank to full, instead only buying 20 or so dollars worth at a... Read More » time. So of course, after the party, at around one o'clock, we leave to go home, with beer, liqour, and weed in tow. But since my friend's tank is low we go to three different gas stations, all closed, before arriving at Hess, the only 24 hour gas station in our area. Keep in mind all these gas stations are fairly far apart, meaning that we easily could've made it home. Finally we get gas and we're heading home, and my friend decides to whip it down this one straightaway, however right before our turn we see lights behind us and pull over. Remember, we're all underage, my friend has his Junior's license meaning he can't be out past 9:00 and can't have more than 1 kid in the car (he has three), and that we have all this illegal stuff in our posession. We think we are FUCKED and we're all flipping the fuck out but trying to be as still and calm as possible for the officer. Finally the officer walks up, gives us the whole speech, license, registration, speed, whatever. We end up getting away with only two tickets for 59 in a 30 and driving past nine. Meanwhile, we could've gotten arrested and fined for seven different offenses. The kid still refuses to fill his gas tank and tries to get us to drag race him every time we drive.

I am in the pep band at my college and after this year's conference tournament we were having a party in one of the hotel rooms. It was mostly band kids on our floor, the cheerleaders had gone out and we checked with the GAs next door to make sure they were okay with everything (and invite them over for a beer.) At about 2 a.m, party in full swing we hear a knock on the door... Read More » and a clearly not old enough to drink freshman that has been put in charge of handing out the vodka turns around and screams "Tapitas!" without noticing everything had just gone silent. Hotel security was at the door to kick everyone out. Normal people across the hall had filed a noise complaint. The next day on the bus home our conductor turns to the kid that had had the vodka and said "You shoulda offered 'em a shot. That would a fixed it."

I am working as a temp at a doctor's office. This past week we had a cop come in. After I worked him up (took his weight and temp and such) one of the people i worked with realized that this same cop gave her a "unfair ticket" just last week. When he got done seeing the doctor, we realized he needed a shot, guess who got to give it to him.. You guessed it, the lady he gave... Read More » the ticket too.. Usually we change the needles to one that is sharper and a little bit thinner. She didnt.. needless to say, the poor officer is going to be sore...

I was in a band a few years back. After my set I went outside with my drummer to have a smoke (the whacky tobacci) and there were about 5 guys beating down some other guy in the street. We ran over there to break it up and right as we arrived 2 cop cars came blaring up. The guys all ran off in different directions and me and my drummer were left standing there looking pretty... Read More » guilty. The one cop saw drum sticks in my drummers pocket he thought was some sort of weapon and took him down. Once we told them why we were at the club we all had a good laugh about the misunderstanding and the one cop actually bought one of our t-shirts that was a hand drawn picture of a homeless guy riding a cinatar smoking crack out of a light bulb.

I'm a voluntary fireman and got bleeped one night because of a major fire at a factory. So I got in my car and rushed to the station to get my kit on and get going. I was almost there when a cop car showed up behind me, flashing its lights. I didn't think too much of it because I was just about half a mile from the station and I was sure they would let me go without a ticket... Read More » as soon as they saw me pulling onto the driveway (hey, this was a genuine emergency). Anyway, the cops followed me all the way and when I got out of the car, they jumped out of theirs and ordered me to halt and put my hands up. So while they were doing their ‘do you know why we pulled you over blah blah blah’ routine, the captain shows up and goes ‘What’s going on here? We have to get moving, you d****heads.’ That didn’t sit too well with the cops and so they decided to take both of us to the police station, me for ‘reckless driving’ and the captain for ‘insulting a police officer’. They got onto their radio and signalled to the police station that they had picked up suspects at the fire station. They lady on the other end replied ‘Uhmmm, are they firemen?’ The cop asked us if we were, we said yes and he repeated it over the radio. All we heard was ‘Well you better let them go then because they need every man at the fire.’ The cop’s face was priceless. I love being a fireman.

I was driving home from work one night and had my iPod on shuffle in my car. I'm a pretty big sucker for 80's music, and when She Drives Me Crazy by the Fine Young Cannibals came on, I started dancing pretty wildly in my seat. A speeding cop came out of nowhere with his sirens on right next to me and motioned me to pull over. When I did, the police officer came running up to... Read More » my window, panicking. Apparently he thought because I’m rather overweight and was flailing around, not knowing that it was merely dancing, that I was have a “heart attack or seizure or something”. I told him I was just dancing and after several minutes he let me go. I don’t dance that much while driving anymore.

After a rough morning I heard the magical music of an ice cream truck passing my house and decided to make a mad dash for it. Turns out the kids playing next door had the same idea but were to slow. A passing cop turns the corner to the sight of a 6'3 21yr old running away from a pack of 9-year-olds and mistakenly thought i was some kind of pedophile. After realizing i was... Read More » not a child molester and feeling bad he had just cost me my chance at frozen deliciousness, he apologized, drove me around the corner to catch up with the truck and paid for my ice cream

I got pulled over driving home, and the cop asked for license and registration. I gave him my license and he said, “Well, you look like a good person” and let me go.

When I was in high school my boyfriend and I would park in a secluded spot behind the middle school to make out. One night, while we were half undressed in my car, I see lights coming up behind us. I turn around and see it's a police car and start flipping out. The policeman flashes his high beams at us but I didn't know what that meant. I didn't want to assume he was... Read More » ushering us to go because I didn't want to get in even more trouble if I peeled out of there. My boyfriend disagreed and kept shouting "Just go!" After arguing with my boyfriend for a few minutes about what we were supposed to do, I hear a knock on the window and turned to see the policeman, politely averting his eyes from our partial nudity, and shouting “Listen to him! Just go!” I took off a few seconds later.

In high-school I was smoking weed with some friends late one night in the park when a pair of cops came through. We were absolutely terrified, and handed it over panicked. The cops checked the small baggie we had on us, smelled it and started laughing. Someone sold my friend crushed tea-leaves as weed. I’ve never been so embarrassed and relieved.

Last night, my partner in crime and I “forked” my school’s front lawn. This morning, I “de-forked” my school’s front lawn. I guess the saying is true, you can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can’t pick your friend’s dad’s profession—so be sure to find out whether or not he’s a cop.

While on vacation, my friends and I were "letting the good times roll," as they say, and some uptight cop came up to us and threatened to ticket us for both public drunkenness and disturbing the peace. That would be a lot of beer money, so I told him the first thing I could think of: that we weren't drunk, we were performance artists. He didn't believe us, obviously. Knowing... Read More » our lives were on the line, we just started dancing our hearts out, pulling in spectators to join us and stirred the crowd into a frenzy. The cop just shook his head and left.

I was 16 years old and driving to a sushi bar place with my girlfriend for a pretty big date. I was going down a hill and lost track of how fast i was going and was pulled over right before I was on the highway. The cop walked up to my car and I was freaking out trying to figure out what I had done to get pulled over and for the life of me I couldn't think of anything to say... Read More » except the one thing I had seen in a movie, the “What seems to be the problem, officer?” The cop looked like he was about ready to pull me out of the car and pistol whip me but restrained himself to saying “You know damn well what the problem is, I clocked you at 53 back there. You know what the speed limit is? 35!” At my court date, being a smart-ass, I suggested that the officer was dyslexic, which the judge did not find to funny. I lost my license for 6 months.