Often, my parents text me while I'm in class. One day, we were doing a dissection lab and I had to text my dad 'I'm busy atm'. My dad came home later that day and, very angry, told me 'I'm NOT an ATM, I'm your father.' I had to explain to him that atm was shorthand for at the moment around three times to for him to get it.
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Very Mary-Kate: Jetlag
By
Elaine Carroll
EXT. BODYGUARD'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
INSERT: Mary-Kate's hand scratches the door. Bodyguard
opens it.
BODYGUARD
Mary-Kate.
MARY-KATE
(bro-y)
BG. The Beejees. Disco's back!
(sad)
I can't sleep.
BODYGUARD
It's two in the morning.
MARY-KATE
But I'm so jet lagged! My z's are
totally effed! Do you want to get
lunch?
BODYGUARD
You wouldn't eat. You'd just watch
me eat.
MARY-KATE
I said do you want to get lunch.
BODYGUARD
I feel like you should have
sleeping pills or something.
MARY-KATE
I took a sleeping pill! But then I
woke up in a cute little little
dress and high heels and this.
Mary-Kate lifts up her hand, revealing a snap-on bracelet.
MARY-KATE (CONT.)
(whispers)
I think I went clubbing.
BODYGUARD
That's a hospital bracelet.
MARY-KATE
Well that explains why the dress
doesn't close in the back.
A pixelated shot from behind reveals that Mary-Kate is
bear-assed.
MARY-KATE (CONT.)
Isn't this nice? It's just like
old times! Look, there's a notch
in the door for every time I put a
notch in the door.
BODYGUARD
Just because you're back doesn't
mean we can go right back to old
habits. You can't sleep? Figure
it out.
MARY-KATE
Yeah, definitely. I'll definitely
figure it out.
(sheepish)
Will you help me figure it out?
Bodyguard sighs.
MARY-KATE
Yeah, keep sighing. It's like
ocean sounds.
BODYGUARD
Arrg!
MARY-KATE
Pirates!
BODYGUARD
Keep your voice down.
MARY-KATE
You're right. If the pirates can't
hear us, they can't take our
booty. And my booty's totally
exposed right now.
BODYGUARD
I don't want to play pirates.
MARY-KATE
Fine, Captain Boring. You're off
the hook.
(beat)
Tell me a story?
BODYGUARD
There once was a girl who couldn't
sleep.
MARY-KATE
What's her problem? This isn't a
very well-developed character.
BODYGUARD
Her name was Mary-Kate.
MARY-KATE
(gasp)
That impostor!
BODYGUARD
It's a story.
MARY-KATE
She's telling stories about me?
This is my name, you know. I could
sue.
BODYGUARD
We're done here.
MARY-KATE
Wait, I want to know what happens!
BODYGUARD
The story's over.
MARY-KATE
My butt is cold.
Bodyguard closes the door.
END.
| cast | |
| Mary-Kate | Elaine Carroll |
| Bodyguard | Luke Sholl |
| crew | |
| Director | Sam Reich |
| Producer | Sam Marine |
| Editor | Sam Reich |
| President of Original Content | Sam Reich |
| Executive Producer | Spencer Griffin |
| Director of Post Production | Michael Schaubach |
| Production Manager | Sam Sparks |
| Post Production Producer | Lacy Wittman |
| Production Office Coordinator | David Kerns |
| Hair and Makeup | Hana El-Assad |
| Sound Mixer | Harris Karlin |
| Boom Operator | Lisa Hall |
| Assistant Editor | Phil Fox |
| Post Production Coordinator | Amanda Madden |
| Production Accountant | Christine Rodriguez |
| Assistant Production Accountant | Daniel Siegel |
| Driver PA | Kenny Wu |
| Intern | Katrina Bayoneto |
| Assistant Camera | Kali Riley |
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